Life keeps taking me to new territory. New heights, new depths, new activity. Seems like the “facts” I sucked down like tic-tacs in my youth are permeable AF. The longer I live the more I see my beliefs for what they are and sometimes even watch them crumble into dust. I started my meandering, bumpy journey as a spiritual seeker in my 20s. Only I wasn’t seeking peace, happiness, or wisdom. Not then, not even close.

Surviving. And thriving. Part of what this first month walking grief’s spiral has shown me — really clearly — is that my sister Barbara is irreplaceable. I’m never going to find another human being to be the friend, listener, confidant, and story holder that my sister was in my life. It’s just not…

And other words about the loss of my sister Barbara. — The “Bite Me” apron. I asked my sister’s kid Alex to take the photo of me in the Bite Me apron, a treasured item that Barbara had forever, the one I’d wear to carve her turkeys, flip her latkes, and then, in her honor, to make this huge matzo brei a couple days after…

I got lucky yesterday. The first thing on my schedule when I got home from this visit with my sister and my family was garden work. My friend and I worked hard for 3 1/2 hours in my garden. I got to use my body to create an environment for…

It’s almost a month now since my sister’s cancer diagnosis. Which still sucks. Sucks even harder, now. Despite our heartbroken weeping and wailing, none of us have been able to change the programming. So here we are. I came back home from Oakland yesterday to catch up with my life. I accomplished maybe 20% of what I ”should’ve.“ Oh well. …

You’re still in the same body. You’re still living. And now you know that you’re also dying. We’re all also dying. We all have an expiration date. The cause of death was life, I’ve heard it said. I think we live and love and create in a dream that we…