Embracing Fierce Gratitude: a Journey

Transforming despair into hope with gratitude

After decades of seeing the world through a persistent black cloud, I found an unexpected ally: gratitude. It wasn’t an instant revelation but a gradual awakening to the power of appreciation.

I finally got tired enough of being miserable. I hired a coach for the first time. Her first suggestion? Carry this simple reminder in my pocket: “Let people be who they are because they’re gonna be anyway.” Her second suggestion? Get grateful. Every day. Write a list of 15(!) things I’m grateful for every day. While I no longer adhere to the practice religiously, those years of listing blessings shaped my perspective in profound ways.

Recently, faced with the inability to soothe my child’s hurt, I felt waves of despair and regret crashing over me. After weeping and wallowing in regret for a while, I found myself looking for anything I could be grateful for, even more.

Relaxing into appreciation gently reminded me that I’m not in control. Made me remember that my daughter’s distress is not mine to change, heal, or fix. I was angry too. These are the first grateful thoughts that floated in:

• I’m grateful that the time I wailed and wallowed in grief and regret was brief.
• I’m grateful that it occurred to me that I can stand in love even when it’s (apparently) not being reciprocated.
• I’m delighted that I was inspired to send her a card…