Tolerant, disinterested, amused, kindhearted, dignified.

Sue Kearney
3 min readSep 20, 2021

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If you asked me to describe five top qualities of a lifelong learner, of a woman in the third third of life who’s in her life, I don’t think I’d be able to think of five better words.

Tolerant. Disinterested. Amused. Kindhearted. Dignified.

Five lines of text from Tao Te Ching, sixteen

Today I attended one of Rupert Spira’s webinar. (If you’re unfamiliar with this amazing non-duality teacher, please remedy that; you’ll be so glad you did. I’ll leave a link at the end of the article for you)

Rupert quoted the lines in bold below to me, in response to my thoughts and questions about my growing awareness of effortlessness and spaciousness in my own life. I’ve finally grown capable of seeing more and more of my habits of thinking, feeling, acting, and doing for what they are — habits.

The more I understand the difference between life as a perpetual project of self-correction and life where there’s absolutely nothing to correct/fix before I can be at peace.

I’m already at peace.

I’m beginning to realize where I come from.

Empty your mind of all thoughts.
Let your heart be at peace.
Watch the turmoil of beings,
but contemplate their return.

Each separate being in the universe
returns to the common source.
Returning to the source is serenity.

If you don’t realize the source,
you stumble in confusion and sorrow.
When you realize where you come from,
you naturally become tolerant,
disinterested, amused,
kindhearted as a grandmother,
dignified as a king
.

Immersed in the wonder of the Tao,
you can deal with whatever life brings you,
and when death comes, you are ready.

— Tao Te Ching, 16

This is unfamiliar territory. I’m noticing unexpected and annoying things — which still happen — sliding off my back without effort on my part.

I’m enjoying being less self-conscious. I smile more than I flinch at my own clumsiness now, even when observed in the act — a regular occurrence even for a solitary soul like me.

I’m tolerating myself more.

Humility isn't thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less.

— Syd Banks

(In case you’re unfamiliar with Syd Banks, I’ve got you. Stay tuned, read on.)

I’m seeing others’ stuff (and my own) as less compelling. As I spend more time present, I don’t want to put energy into hashing over the past, worrying about imaginary futures, and dissecting the details of the now (we all have details).

I’m becoming disinterested.

I smile at my foibles more and judge them less. (Amused.)

I want to listen to you more than I used to. I’ve got less advice than ever to give, and more love and compassion than I ever imagined. (Kindhearted.)

And that last one, that really landed in me. Dignified. I never even aspired to dignified, and yet today, I really feel the meaning of that word in my being. I’m standing taller in my truth and my gifts. One place I see that is in my business — I’m no longer saying Yes to clients who aren’t a good fit.

I’m a lifelong learner. And a wisewoman. If you’re reading this you probably are too.

I encourage and guide women in the third third of life who want to stay inspired, be in flow, and be fully expressed, so that they can enjoy their days more and stress less — despite social norms and the realities of aging. If that’s you, a good way to get started is with a Simplify Your Life Simplici-Tea session with me.

#simplifyyourlife #lifelonglearner #wisdomfluence

Here’s how to get started with Rupert Spira. I’m sending you to a podcast episode of his where he does a beautiful talk about Liesl Muller’s poem, Monet refuses the operation. Go listen, and then follow your nose.

Syd Banks died some time ago, and many people are building places to go listen to and learn from this theosopher from Wales who’s changed so many lives, including mine. Start here, enjoy.

Sue Kearney looking at the camera, smiling

I’m Sue Kearney, lifelong learner. Stay connected. Subscribe to my newsletter.

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Sue Kearney
Sue Kearney

Written by Sue Kearney

I mentor and encourage for women who want more joy and freedom, less stress. More creative flow, less angst. At your age. In your body. In the world as it is.

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